AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
