Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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