I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
