Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
