I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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