So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
