hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
