She went from zero to smokin in five shots
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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