I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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