ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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