I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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