ugly people sure do ruin things
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
