Kiss
Puke
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
