guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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