According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
