Where is the hickey?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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