so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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