She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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