so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
