So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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