She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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