and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
