I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
