Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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