I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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