You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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