Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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