you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
