I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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