and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
