he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
