you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
