thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
