**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
