My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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