yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
