Yo dont text me then not text me
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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