Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
