Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
