I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We are two peas in an std pod
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
