It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
