There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
