Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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