I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
