i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
