it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
