We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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