Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
