We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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