rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize