If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
