i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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