I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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