I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
