If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I will pee on everything he values.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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