Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
