I need help removing her.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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