We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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