i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
