we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
