singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
