when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
