No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
