worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
