Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize